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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22432321">Captain Threepwood and His Mighty Crew</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BackgroundWhimsy/pseuds/BackgroundWhimsy'>BackgroundWhimsy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Brütal Legend, Grim Fandango, Monkey Island, Psychonauts (Video Games), Puzzle Agent (Video Games), Sam &amp; Max</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crossover, Gen, Not really bc it's just Halloween, Pirate AU?, Widcards AU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:20:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,910</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22432321</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BackgroundWhimsy/pseuds/BackgroundWhimsy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>On Halloween night, anyone can be anything. A Demon. The Grim Reaper. Even an obscure 15th century codex. This year, Guybrush is going as the greatest pirate to ever sail the Caribbean - but what is a Captain without his crew?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Captain Threepwood and His Mighty Crew</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Shoutout to my sister for beta-ing this for me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When asked who in the Wildcard office got the most excited about Halloween, one could be forgiven for thinking it was Manny - he was a skeleton after all, it was a simple mistake. Eddie was another good guess; with all his technical know-how, surely setting up the most elaborate and terrifying decorations every year was a top priority. The <em> correct </em> answer to the question, however, was undoubtedly the Mighty Pirate himself, Guybrush Threepwood. </p>
<p>For the one night a year that his dreams of being a pirate were actively encouraged, Guybrush made it his mission to put together the most flamboyantly ostentatious pirate Captain's outfit possible. We're talking dozens of gold buttons, delicately embroidered detailing, and a huge hat with the largest, fluffiest feathers possible. A cape, real leather boots, a golden belt buckle - everything to be found on a respectable pirate Captain. On just about anyone else such a costume might have been garish and absurd, but, Elaine had to admit, her husband's flair for privateers and his unshakable confidence meant he pulled it off every time.</p>
<p>Captain Threepwood was very popular with the neighborhood's children. Over the years, everyone in the area had learned pretty quickly that the Threepwood-Marley household was a must-stop attraction on any trick-or-treater's route.</p>
<p>Normally, saying "trick or treat" was a mere formality. At Guybrush's house, however, it was an important decision. Sure, you'd get candy if you chose either option, but for those bold enough to ask for a <em> trick?</em> There was no telling what the pirate had up his sleeves.</p>
<p>For the smaller children, it was pretty common to get a visit from the monkey that was occasionally perched on the Captain's shoulder. The monkey would stalk down his arm and hop onto and around the excited child. It would look through their hair, tug on a costume piece or two, maybe stick one of its paws into their candy bag, but it was never too disruptive. It would then finish its expedition by running to Elaine's candy bowl and fishing out a few pieces to give to the enraptured child. Somehow, it was always just what they wanted most out of the assortment.</p>
<p>The older children had a chance to go toe-to-toe in a swordfight with the Captain himself. He'd slowly break into a devious grin, before pulling a pair of rapiers from seemingly nowhere and challenging the trick-or-treater right there on the spot. The duels never lasted too long, and the kids won every time, but it was always very close and incredibly entertaining for the other kids to watch. Threepwood threw himself into the role with complete conviction, and for just a few minutes the children felt like they were standing on the deck of a real pirate ship, earning their place on the crew.</p>
<p>Guybrush also had all manner of other magic tricks, jokes, and illusions in his repertoire just to avoid getting too predictable or boring. It was becoming more and more common for some kids, tired from walking all over the neighborhood, to stop and stay for awhile just to see what else the Captain might do. In the absence of fresh trick-or-treaters, he'd regale them with thrilling tales of adventure on the high seas full of parrots, pirates, and of course, treasure.</p>
<p>On one memorable occasion, he'd had a pretty large group waiting for the conclusion to one such story - the heroes were just about to discover the buried loot - when Guybrush had stopped and tapped his chin deep in thought, like he'd forgotten the next part. He got up, paced around, and even asked his lovely pirate wife if she remembered where the treasure was hidden. Then he'd snapped his fingers and turned back to the children - "<em>Aha!</em> <em>I remember now!"</em> - and pulled a shovel from behind the bench he'd been sitting on.</p>
<p>He'd paced though the yard, dowsing with the shovel and walking almost in circles - monologuing the whole time, of course - before plunging it into the lawn and digging up a medium-sized pirate's chest. Presenting it to the children, it was full of pirate coins, fake gems, and of course, more candy. The trick-or-treaters were delighted, although the parents were surprised he'd gone so far in preparation as to put a hole in his front yard. Nothing was too far for Captain Threepwood - especially not on Halloween.</p>
<p>This year, it seemed that the good Captain had outdone himself, because this time around he had <em> a crew. </em> In addition to Captain Threepwood and First Mate Marley, there were three other pirates in the yard - one set up on either side of the front walk, and one to the right of the door. Fun, pirate-y ambiance and music was playing from small speakers that had been set up in the trees and on the roof, and the whole place was well lit and inviting. </p>
<p>At this point, his house had become so popular that it was honestly easier to just entertain the trick-or-treaters on the lawn. Forcing people to come to the door had created a bottleneck, so now they hosted a party of sorts where their guests could stop in for some fun and then be on their way or stick around and enjoy the pirate-themed festivities.</p>
<p>Guybrush and Elaine were never in one place for too long, constantly walking around and checking in on their guests. As always, Captain Threepwood would play a good-natured prank on anyone who asked nicely, but with so many other pirates for the children to meet he wasn't getting mobbed quite as overwhelmingly as he would have otherwise.</p>
<p>Manny was sitting in a chair on the porch, entirely motionless, with a bowl of candy in his lap. He had accrued a small gathering of children, though the vast majority of them were too timid to approach; in Guybrush's yard, you could never be too careful. Maybe the skeleton was <em> cursed </em> , and would give you a pirate curse <em> too </em>. Or maybe he was an old crew member who'd displeased Captain Threepwood by trying to start a mutiny, and taking candy from him would make them the beloved pirate's sworn enemies. Or maybe-</p>
<p>At last, an older boy dressed like a vampire shoved past the smaller trick-or-treaters and marched right up to Manny. </p>
<p>"You scaredy-cats, it's just a prop! Come get your candy and-"</p>
<p>"C'mon, you're not even gonna say trick or treat?" Manny had moved at last, and grabbed the wrist of the impetuous child before he could take a handful. The kid's eyes went wide, and the rest of the group had jumped back about a foot, screaming. The vampire's face had already been painted white, but the way all the blood drained out of their cheeks really completed the look. Manny let him stammer for a few moments before laughing and releasing him.</p>
<p>"I'm just kidding, here you go." He lifted the bowl and allowed his victim to shakily take some, before offering it to the rest of the kids.</p>
<p>Now that he was revealed to be more than just a decoration Manny had introduced himself as Manny "Lucky Number Nine" Calavera, and taken to playing small games of chance with the children, like Liar's Dice or Thimblerig. Kids could wager with candy from their hauls - double or nothing. Gambling with children was probably frowned upon, but the stakes were kept deliberately low to prevent any particularly ambitious trick-or-treaters from going all-in. Besides, Manny was going easy on them and skewing the games in favor of the kids. Sure, they might take a loss here or there, but overall everyone walked away from him a little bit richer and with the impression they'd been gambling with their lives, not their candy. Being offered such games of chance by a pirate who'd seen Davy Jones's locker and lived to tell the tale was honestly <em> exhilarating. </em></p>
<p>As one small boy dressed like a cowboy collected his winnings, he asked curiously, "If you're a skeleton, how d'you talk?" </p>
<p>His friend - or maybe his brother - had almost immediately elbowed him, like it was a stupid question. "He talks the same way you do, dummy! With his mouth!"</p>
<p>"Oooohhh, yeah you're right! Sorry mister skeleton!" The pair of children finished getting their treats and ran off toward the next member of the crew, a large man with a thick braid and a studded leather vest over his poofy pirate shirt.</p>
<p>Cannoneer Riggs was in charge of dispensing 'grog', a.k.a. apple juice mixed with dry ice. He had a table set up with cups and his mixing bowl, and a barrel nearby to collect trash in. Guybrush had been by a while ago to teach the kids some traditional pirate songs to go with their drinks, so now the sounds of creaking timbers, ocean waves, and the occasional seagull provided by Eddie's sound system were mixed in with the off-key singing of a dozen young children pretending to be drunken sailors entertaining themselves with a sea shanty.</p>
<p>Initially the children had been a bit intimidated by his stature, maybe afraid the large pirate would fire one of <em> them </em>out of a cannon, but as soon as he broke into a smile and started talking the kids learned otherwise. Mr. Riggs was just a big goofball, and he'd happily hoist you up onto his shoulders and run around the yard if he didn't have anyone to serve at that moment.</p>
<p>The last member of the good Captain's crew was the trickiest. Just saying trick or treat would earn you a piece of candy, but if you could answer one of his riddles correctly you could take a whole handful. For those clever enough to come up with an answer he hadn't heard before or stump him with a riddle of their own, Helmsman Tethers had full-size candy bars as prizes. He had all his riddles and puzzles written in fancy script on weathered pieces of parchment, and if your riddle was good enough, he'd write it down then and there and add it to his collection.</p>
<p>These kids were smarter than he'd expected; it'd only been an hour or two and already he needed to call in Elaine for a refill on the treasure chest Guybrush had given him. As the First Mate began to transfer some of the treats out of her bowl, he couldn't help but wonder, where was all this candy coming from?</p>
<p>"Oh, we buy in bulk these days and Guybrush takes the money out of the budget he sets aside for all the ridiculous things he needs on assignment. A few years after he joined the Psychonauts, the boys down in accounting decided they just didn't need to know what he was buying or why, so he has free reign over how he chooses to spend his funds," Elaine told him as she restocked his stash. "In a way, I suppose you could say this is a Psychonauts-sponsored event."</p>
<p>"Wow, really?" Nelson knew that sometimes his partner needed certain objects he couldn't just hallucinate into existence, and that somehow he was funding them through the agency, but he hadn't expected him to be using company money for something like this. The purchases probably wouldn't seem that out of place though, compared to some of the other things he'd bought this year.</p>
<p>"Yes. Actually, after you became his partner he's had to spend less and less on props and disguises, so we've got more candy this year than we've had in the past. Honestly, I'll be surprised if we can get rid of it all." Her task finished, she hefted her bowl to her hip and headed toward where her husband was enthralling a group of children and parents with a story. He was in top form tonight, and whatever ridiculous yarn he was spinning had captured the undivided attention of every member of his audience.</p>
<p>When he saw his wife approaching, he stood up to greet her and swept her into a dip. With a flourish, he used his hat to block the children's view as he gave her a kiss, and the lipstick that had rubbed off on him made some of the kids giggle when he straightened back up and released her. She took a seat next to him as he continued his tale. </p>
<p>"So there I was, stranded on a remote island without even my wonderful wife there to keep me company, and no hope of being rescued. After weeks of surviving only on the fish I could catch with my bare hands, I had just about given up and resigned myself to living out the rest of my life as a castaway when I saw a ship sailing over the horizon!" Guybrush drew his spyglass and scanned over his audience, looking for a ship hopefully coming to his rescue. </p>
<p>"Quickly, I lit a fire to try to signal them, but it turned out the ship was already coming to the island just for me! You see, after the Spanish Armada had marooned me and taken my lovely first mate hostage, she escaped at the first port they visited. All alone in an unfamiliar town, without even her handsome and very capable husband to keep her company, she knew she had to find a ship quickly lest she stick around too long and get recognized by the authorities. She also needed a crew to help sail it for her, because despite how lovely and smart and amazing she is, an entire ship is just too much for one person to handle alone.</p>
<p>"It was dark and rainy that night, and after a whole day of looking she couldn't find one single pirate worth being a member of her crew in the entire shipyard. Not one single soul had what it took to sail a proper pirate ship, and once the storms started up she headed to the nearest tavern to get out of the weather.</p>
<p>"Slouching over the bar, she was just the picture of misery. So sad and woeful, because she was all alone and had no way to leave or find her fearlessly handsome Captain or- or-," Guybrush took a moment to compose himself, pretending Elaine's grief was so potent it moved him to tears. The woman in question shook her head at him, smiling at his theatrics.</p>
<p>Clearing his throat, he continued, "Anyway, the tavern's owner sat down next to her and asked her what was wrong. Now, normally, she wouldn't have even <em> thought </em>about telling him; he could've been a spy or a rival pirate or something, but she knew her secrets would be safe because, as you all know," he leaned in conspiratorially, "Dead men tell no tales. That's right, the man running the tavern was none other than the Lucky Number Nine himself, Manny Calavera!" </p>
<p>The children gasped at the reveal. Manny was in this story too?! Then what about the other crew members, where did they fit in?</p>
<p>"So, she told him all about her troubles, and he had to think for a minute. It was quite a pickle she'd gotten herself into there, and it wouldn't be very easy to get out of it. Pretty quickly, though, he decided to tell her all about how he used to be a pirate himself - the captain of his own ship no less! - when his crew mutinied on him and left him behind in that very port. He'd been running the tavern ever since, but he'd be happy to help her put together a crew of her own and help her find that dashing Captain she'd told him so much about." Again, Elaine could only roll her eyes at him.</p>
<p>"The very next morning he introduced her to his friend, Eddie Riggs. This one man had the strength of ten, and could get a ship ready to set sail in the blink of an eye! He knew how to do everything; rigging, tying fancy knots, swabbing the deck, battening down the hatches - <em> everything!</em> He was worth almost an entire crew all by himself. All they needed now was an expert navigator." Eyes widening, a few of the children looked excitedly between Guybrush and Nelson.</p>
<p>"Elaine had been there when I was marooned, so she knew I was <em> somewhere </em> nearby, but she couldn't remember exactly where and they didn't have time to check every single deserted island in the Caribbean. They needed someone who could narrow it down for them, and help plot a course that would let them go to as many potential islands as possible. They needed a real <em> puzzle </em> pirate if you know what I mean, someone with a sharp wit who could read a map even with his eyes closed. They needed Nelson Tethers.</p>
<p>"Now, Nelson was working for the Royal British Navy at the time, but he was also known as a man of the people. He wasn't above helping a well-meaning seafarer crack an old pirate code or plot a better course if asked, so Elaine and her new friends knew that if they could find him, he could probably show them the way. Little did they know, the Navy had caught on to his activities and things weren't looking good for him. He'd accidentally helped a mean old pirate escape justice for his crimes and his superiors wanted to hang Nelson in his place, so he was hiding out somewhere nobody would find him."</p>
<p>The three pirates were staying at Manny’s place until they were ready to set sail, but thus far all their attempts to locate the Navigator had failed. Eddie had asked around the docks and Manny had told his connections to keep an eye out, but as far as they could tell Nelson Tethers had gone missing. He hadn't been seen by anyone in at least a week, and his absence was starting to put a crimp in Elaine's plans.</p>
<p>The longer they waited to rescue her darling husband, the more time he had to get into trouble, or starve, or be found by his enemies, and staying too long here at port could get her and her friends noticed by the authorities. If they didn't find Mr. Tethers soon, they might just have to leave without him and hope that she could remember where he was when she saw the right island.</p>
<p>Further, Eddie had his eye on a speedy little ship called the <em> Indefatigable </em> down in the harbor; he'd been able to sneak on board by joining the dockworkers and helping load supplies into the hold, and as far as he was concerned it was the perfect getaway ship. It was just the right size - big enough for a proper pirate vessel, but not too big for him to handle - and it was fast enough to take them all over the Caribbean in half the time it would take a larger ship. If they waited too long though, they'd lose their window and the rightful owners would leave as planned. </p>
<p>They were running out of time.</p>
<p>After another long day of fruitless searching, the three of them were back at the bar trying to think of new places to look. All of a sudden, the door to the tavern burst open and a young girl ran in. The green feather in her headband fluttered wildly as she eagerly surveyed the dining area, until at last she spotted the skeleton in the corner. As she ran to the tavern's owner, she was practically bouncing in excitement.</p>
<p>"MANNY!" The skeleton winced as she yelled his name at full volume. Stealth and subtlety tended to take a backseat to her enthusiasm.</p>
<p>"Evening Lupe," he said, gesturing for her to sit down and deliver her message at a more discreet volume, "what's the rush?"</p>
<p>"Manny! You will never <em> believe </em> what I just heard!" She was grinning from ear to ear, staring him directly in the eyes and relishing in the suspense.</p>
<p>He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Try me."</p>
<p>"Okay! So! I was walking around town, keeping an eye out for that Tethers guy like you asked, when I was passing by the post office and I overheard the desk clerk talking about him! Apparently, he was still receiving letters and needed to pick them up because there was some kind of important code he needed to crack, so just yesterday he showed up to get his mail!"</p>
<p>"Reeeally now," that was good, it meant he was still somewhere nearby. "Did you hear anything else?"</p>
<p>"YES!! <em> Obviously </em> I couldn't just leave it there, so as soon as the guy he was talking to left - some kind of Navy guy, I don't know - I walked up to that clerk and asked him what he knew. He said he didn't know where the guy was, but he'd left behind <em> this note!" </em></p>
<p>Excitedly, she shoved a piece of paper into his hands. Unfolding it, Manny wasn't sure what he was looking at - it wasn't a map or an address. In fact, it looked more like a recipe for some kind of Hot Dish. What kind exactly was unclear.</p>
<p>"Uh-huh… And did this friendly postal worker also happen to mention <em> why </em> he left a recipe card behind?" </p>
<p>"Okay, okay, so! He said that this Tethers guy gave him the note and told him not to show it to any of those official lookin' types, like the Navy guys or the sheriff, but if anyone else needed him he always had room at his table for one more. So I said, that you said, that you were lookin' to find him, and everyone knows that you're about as far away from official as you can get - you're dead for cryin' out loud! - so he gave me the note and I ran here as fast as I could! I think it's not just a recipe Manny, I think it's a <em> code! </em> Isn't that just <em> so cool?!" </em></p>
<p>Manny had to admit, the longer he looked at the note the less it looked like actual food. Coriander was too expensive a spice to use in a recipe like this, and Moose meat was not something readily available here in the Caribbean. Moving closer to Elaine so she could read it as well, something in the way the instructions were written was off. There was definitely something more here.</p>
<p>"Excellent work Lupe, I always knew I could count on you." Reaching into his coat, he pulled out a small bag of coins and passed it to her.</p>
<p>"Anytime, Manny!" Then, taking the coins, she got up and left the tavern as quickly as she'd come.</p>
<p>Eddie had wandered over at the tail end of her visit, and was now peering over their shoulders to look at the note as well. As soon as Lupe left, he took her seat so the three of them could work on deciphering the note together. </p>
<p>After about twenty minutes, Elaine recognized the cipher as an old pirate trick for hiding information in plain sight; everyone looked for treasure maps and coded messages in the Captain's journals and study, but no one ever thought to look in his cookbook. Guybrush had made a few maps like this in the past, so she knew the instructions were in there somewhere. It took the better part of the night, but by the early morning they had a pretty good idea of a few places where Nelson might be hiding.</p>
<p>By the time they'd gone to bed, they'd figured out the general directions they needed to go and how far for each step, but they still needed a starting place. Looking at a map of the town, several different routes were possible and all of them led to different spots on the island. Ultimately, they decided to start at the Post Office; it seemed like the most reasonable place to begin, and Nelson might have assumed someone could follow his instructions as soon as they read his note.</p>
<p>Their decoded instructions led them circuitously through the town, until at last they reached the edge and headed deep into the jungle. From here the trail became more perilous; there were all kinds of traps and deep ravines to stumble into, and it was only by the grace of Nelson's Hot Dish that they were able to avoid them. </p>
<p>Eventually, after Manny had narrowly escaped a broken rib cage at the coils of an anaconda and Eddie had almost lost a few inches off the end of his braid to a flaming arrow, they came upon an old weather-beaten cabin at the border where the jungle turned into white sand. It appeared to be abandoned, but the fact that they'd been led here by very specific instructions told them otherwise.</p>
<p>Cautiously, still looking for further booby traps and other hazards, they made their way to the door and knocked. Manny caught the barest hint of movement through one of the mouldering shutters, and a moment later a slat slid open on the door so Mr. Tethers could look outside.</p>
<p>"Can… can I help you?" He sounded polite, but suspicious. </p>
<p>"I do believe you can, Mr. Tethers. I'm looking to chart a course through some of the nearby islands, and I'd very much appreciate your advice." Elaine was perfectly composed and ladylike, her high class upbringing shining through. Her diplomacy had opened quite a few doors that had been slammed in Guybrush's face in the past, there was no reason it shouldn't work now.</p>
<p>"Give me one good reason I should trust you." Nelson had narrowed his eyes at her, not quite willing to believe she'd come out here with one of the biggest men he'd ever seen and a specter of death just to have a chat.</p>
<p>Manny pulled the recipe card out of his jacket and took their decoded message from Eddie. Waving them in front of Nelson's face between two bony fingers, he pushed them through the slat with little patience for the Navigator's games. "Well, we already solved your riddle, so I'd say that's at least worth hearing her out."</p>
<p>Nelson took them before he could get poked in the eye, and they could hear him checking their work as he examined the papers on the other side of the door.</p>
<p>"Hmmm… it's not exactly the translation I was going for, but obviously it was good enough to get you all the way out here." They heard a chain rattle against the door as he unlocked it. "Come on in."</p>
<p>As he opened the door and let them in, Manny heard the <em> click </em> of a pistol being de-cocked. Tethers was tucking the gun back into his coat and gesturing for them to have a seat at his table. The interior of the cabin was in a state of disarray, with papers and furniture strewn across the floor, though most of the living spaces had been tidied up. The walls were covered in maps and star charts, each covered in notes and scribbles to mark important features.</p>
<p>The ceiling was high enough to warrant a cast iron chandelier with old, dripping candles, and there was a stove, a bed, and a bookcase along the back wall. The dining table was sturdy and wooden, and Nelson was already spreading a large map over its surface in preparation for their discussion.</p>
<p>"So. What can I help you with?"</p>
<p>Briefly, she explained the situation. All they needed was his help plotting a course, and then they'd be out of his hair and on their way to rescuing her husband.</p>
<p>"Your husband, huh? Well, who am I to stand in the way of true love?" He said with a smile. He took what little information she could give him - where they'd been when their ship had been attacked, who had done the marooning, which direction they'd been headed in - and he got to work.</p>
<p>Seeing him in action was a truly impressive sight. Using the timeframe and his knowledge of Spanish trade routes, he was able to draw a general perimeter around the port to represent the furthest possible distance Guybrush's island could be. He then started eliminating the remaining locations one by one, ruling out islands that were too far away from their starting point to bother with and which were too small to be survivable to be marooned on for this long. Eddie's eyebrows were up at his hairline as he watched the master at work; the speed and skill with which he made his deductions was almost superhuman. </p>
<p>Nelson had just finished narrowing down the list of places to visit, and was about to start plotting an efficient course with which to visit them, when a forceful pounding on the door startled them out of their focus on the map.</p>
<p>"Tethers! Open up!" The voice was rough and commanding - that of a soldier. "Yer under arrest for suspected piracy and aidin' a wanted criminal!"</p>
<p>Nelson was staring at Elaine in betrayal. "You led them here, they must have followed you!"</p>
<p>"Nelson I-" Elaine started, she was so certain they had come <em> alone- </em></p>
<p>"Save it." Nelson snapped, drawing his pistol once more. The pounding on the door had turned into more of a full-body slam as whoever was on the other side tried to break it down. Swiftly, he rolled up the map they'd been poring over and handed it to Manny, then upturned the table to give them some cover from whatever might come inside. Their orders were most likely to take him alive, but he knew they wouldn't hesitate to shoot if they felt threatened.</p>
<p>And walking in on a roomful of dangerous looking pirates was <em> very </em> threatening.</p>
<p>At last the door collapsed inward, and they were locked into a standoff with two uniformed soldiers. Elaine had drawn her sword and stepped forward, ready to defend herself and her friends, but the rifles each serviceman was brandishing was more of a threat than she could handle with just a cutlass.</p>
<p>"Put yer 'ands where I can see 'em, the lot of you!" The soldier barked.</p>
<p>Nelson's mind was racing. He had two options here - leave with the Naval officers, and surely be hung, or throw his lot in with his new pirate friends and only maybe die in the escape. The odds weren't great, but they were certainly better than just giving in and getting arrested. There was no way he'd ever be allowed back into the Navy, and in any case he wanted to finish charting this course; helping these guys was the most interesting thing he'd done in months. Making his choice, his brain kicked into high gear and started looking for a way out. Glancing around the cabin he got an idea, but right now Miss Marley was too close to the soldiers.</p>
<p><em> "Elaine, </em> step <em> back."</em> She looked at him like he was crazy, but he knew she couldn't see what he was looking at from there. If she took just two steps back, she'd be far enough away to put his plan into action. "Trust me."</p>
<p>Reluctantly, she lowered her sword and stepped backward far enough to stand level with him.</p>
<p>"Put yer 'ands up!" The soldier ordered again. </p>
<p>Winking almost imperceptibly at the First Mate, Nelson slowly started to raise his hands. He still held his loaded pistol carefully in his right, and maneuvered it until the angle of the barrel was <em> juuuuust right- </em></p>
<p>He fired, snapping the chain on the cast iron chandelier and dropping it directly on top of the two soldiers. The heavy metal fixture sent both of them instantly to the floor, groaning in pain. Quickly, he turned and ran to the bookcase. He grabbed a few volumes he absolutely couldn't do without, then pulled on a trick book on the third shelf to unlock the hidden back door.</p>
<p>"Let's go!" </p>
<p>They wasted no time running away from the cabin as fast as they could. Nelson led them safely through the jungle on a shortcut back into town, and the three pirates staying at the tavern rushed through the place to collect their things - it was time to go.</p>
<p>Eddie slipped back into the crowd of workers in the shipyard again and gained access to his chosen vessel while Elaine and Manny ran off and caused distractions on either side of the dock. Meeting up with Nelson again in the middle, they ran to the ship and just barely made it on board as Eddie started to pull the ship out into the harbor. At last, they were underway and it wouldn’t be too terribly long until Elaine could hold her husband in her arms once again.</p>
<p>&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;</p>
<p>And on the story went. Guybrush continued to regale his audience with the adventures he'd had after being rescued by his new friends - like the time Eddie had fought off an entire sea monster single-handedly while the rest of them kept the ship afloat, or when Nelson had discovered a treasure map hidden in code in one of Manny's old journals. On and on the stories went, and although by the end he had an entirely different audience from the one he'd started with, everyone who'd come and gone had heard at least one of the daring exploits of Captain Threepwood and his Mighty Crew.</p>
<p>As the evening wound down, the arrival of new children slowed to a halt. It was almost past many of the younger children's bedtimes, and the older children's parents would be starting to wonder where they were. Soon enough, the lawn of the Threepwood-Marley house was devoid of guests and left only a small party of pirates standing on the front walk.</p>
<p>"Well, what'd you guys think?" Guybrush asked.</p>
<p>"I think if you ever stop working for the Psychonauts you need to go get a job at Disneyland. You'd probably have your own TV show within a week." Eddie said, lighting a cigarette and offering one to Manny.</p>
<p>Guybrush beamed at him. "What, really? You think so? In that case I'll have to brush up my audition tapes. Thanks for helping me out tonight, guys, I really appreciate it."</p>
<p>"No problem!" Nelson was still looking over some of the new riddles he'd collected over the course of the evening. He'd given away most of the written copies to children who wanted a memento, but he'd kept a few of the more impressive ones so he wouldn't forget them before he could write them down somewhere more permanent. "This was fun, and I'd love to do it again next year."</p>
<p>"Count me in as well," Manny said, taking a drag off the cigarette his partner had given him. As Eddie nodded in agreement with an excitement in his eyes that said he was already planning out ways to make the spectacle even bigger and better next time, Guybrush felt his heart brimming with pride at the declarations of loyalty from his crew.</p>
<p>Grinning broadly, even as exhausted as he was he felt like he was standing on the prow of <em>The</em> <em>Screaming Narwhal</em> with the wind at his back, ready to sail off into adventure once more. Gazing past the horizon, with his wife at his side and his friends watching his back, there was no obstacle in all the seven seas that could overcome Captain Guybrush Threepwood and his steadfast crew.</p>
<p>And long after Guybrush and Elaine moved away, the legend of the mighty Captain Threepwood lived on in the many, many stories the local children kept circulating. </p>
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